Re: I Met A Girl / Will Dockery

On Sun, 2 Feb 2025 20:06:20 +0000, HarryLime wrote:

On Sun, 2 Feb 2025 19:27:00 +0000, Will Dockery wrote:
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On Sun, 2 Feb 2025 19:16:44 +0000, HarryLime wrote:
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On Sun, 2 Feb 2025 17:40:34 +0000,, Will Dockery wrote:

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On Sun, 2 Feb 2025 16:54:30 +0000, HarryLime wrote:
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On Sun, 2 Feb 2025 16:49:22 +0000, Will Dockery wrote:
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On Sun, 2 Feb 2025 14:27:25 +0000, HarryLime wrote:
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On Sun, 2 Feb 2025 14:08:38 +0000, Will-Dockery wrote:
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Zod wrote:
On Thursday, May 4, 2017 at 9:40:55 PM UTC-4, Will Dockery wrote:

I Met A Girl
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I met a girl

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By Will Donkey
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She was a little freckled girl
from out of
my high school past.
At this point I kissed her
and put my finger to her hole.

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Edited for effect.
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Real piece of work, that Donkey.
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--

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Well I've wondered if I should censor that link for many years and in
the end decided to keep it as I'd written it 43 years ago.
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I think, in fact, you've already flamed me about this.

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I have, and shall continue to whenever I stumble across it.
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A poem about fingering a high school girl, is reprehensible regardless
of whether you set it in a dream.

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She wasn't in high school, she was from my high school past.
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The year was 1982, five years after my time at Carver High School.

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As per usual in a Will Donkey poem, what you intended to say, and what
you actually wrote are two very different things.
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Nor does the date of the composition (or of the alleged dream) have any
bearing on the content.
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The girl didn't come to you (in your dream) from California; she came to
you "from out of... high school."
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Also, since you hadn't seen her in approximately 5 years, it is unlikely
that your subconscious would have aged her in your dream.  She would
have looked like she did when you last saw her -- five years earlier
when you were in school.
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You missed the context, the girl wasn't in high school when the actual
you described happened.
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She was "out of my high school past" almost a decade before the poem was
written which would make us both in our twenties on May 8 1982.

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You don't understand how to express yourself clearly

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In your opinion.

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The English language, when used correctly, is not a matter of opinion,
Donkey.
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The details are easily understood.

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Obviously not.
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Your poem says that you dreamt about a girl who you recognized (i.e.,
she looked the same), but whose name you couldn't remember (even after
she told it to you twice).  You further say that this girl came to you
from out of the past, when you had both attended the same high school.
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This makes it clear that she was still 16 or 17 in your dream.
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What you meant to say was that you dreamed about a girl who you had
known (barely) in high school, who had spent the last five years living
in California.
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Unfortunately, that is not what you actually wrote.
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As I've attempted to explain to you countless times in the past, if
you're going to be a poet, you first have to gain a working knowledge of
(at least) high school level English.
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Your compositional skills are roughly equivalent to those of a 4th
grader when writing posts, and those of a 4th grader who took the short
bus to and school when composing poetry.
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I would urge you to read "Language in Thought and Action," by Samuel
Ichiye Hayakawa... only your reading comprehension level is so poor that
you wouldn't understand it.  You would do better to enroll in a free,
online Basic English course, and slowly work your way up to it.
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When yoy say that someone is "from out of my high school past," the
implication is that she stepped out of the past.  When someone steps out
of your past, they are at the same age they had been in the year that
they stepped out of.

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No, she was a person I know in high school who reappeared in 1982, five
years after High school.

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Then you should have said that in your poem.

The poem made that very clear.

You should have said that you dreamed you met someone from your past.

Which the poem did.

The poem states:
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"It was in a dream, we knew each other instantly."

Exactly, that's what happened.

The operative phrase here is not that it happened "in a
dream."  It's one of whether she a) came to you from out of your past,
or b) reappeared in 1982, five years after she'd graduated.

Okay, I can more or less agree with that.

But even if she was in her twenties in your dream

Which she was, as I've stated.

It was explicit, agreed.

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It isn't offensive because it's explicit, Donkey. Okay, it is offensive
to Moral Majority types, but that is not what I was referring to.
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It is demeaning to women, objectifying
them as nothing more than a "hole" to stick your finger (or your willie)

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No, that's not true, it was just some sex.

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When you refer to "just some (casual) sex" as putting your "finger to
her hole," you are treating her as if she were an inanimate object.  She
is not a person to you -- she is a "hole."
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You weren't even attracted to her personality, as you say she sounded
"spacey."  Worse yet, you couldn't bother to remember her name in spite
of the fact that she'd told it to you twice.
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To you, she wasn't a person with a valid personality or a name... she
was a just another "hole."
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Grown ups in 1982 had sex, fucked, all that sort of thing.

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I graduated high school in 1982, Donkey.  I didn't just walk up to a
girl a hadn't seen in 5 years and proceed to stick my finger in her
vagina.  I know you claim they do things differently in "the deep South"
(cue the dueling banjoes), but that sounds like groping/sexual assault.
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in.  It further implies that you find nothing wrong with groping, and
digitally penetrating, a woman you've just met.

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We'd known each other about a decade at that time.

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Obviously not very well, since you couldn't remember her name.
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The fact that you would post this in your 60s, only shows how
insensitive and misogynistic you've remained over the years.

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The poem was written on May 8th 1982 and probably isn't something I'd
write in 2025.

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Why not?  Your writing certainly hasn't evolved any.  If anything, it's
actually gotten worse.
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And the fact that you still post it in 2025 means that you don't see
anything wrong with it.

Well, no, I have often stated that 1982 was a rather wild era for many
young people and I was a young poet heavily influenced by Beatnik jazz
poetry and the then current punk rock scene in Atlanta Georgia.
Bands like The Clash, Patti Smith and CTC were as influential on me and
my poetry as the Beat poets such as Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg and
Charles Bukowski.
"Those were different times."

Much the same way that you don't see anything

wrong in having written a poem about how you'd performed oral sex on a
co-worker (at the local pizzeria -- while you were married

Well, that did happen, although you've gotten the details wrong.
In other words, another misrepresentation.

and left it

lying around where your 6-year old son (give or take) could read it

That never happened.
Why do you lie and misrepresent so much, Michael Pendragon?

bring it to the attention of your wife.

The above is actually a misrepresentation of the events, which is
typical of the combination of lies and poor memory of Michael Pendragon.

Sorry you're so sensitive, but that's also why I've tried rewrites over
the years but just finally decided to settle on leaving it in the
"Erotic poetry" genre.

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There's nothing "erotic"

Again, Erotic poetry is a genre, and can't be expected to appeal to
every reader, Pendragon.

 about "putting (your) finger to her hole,"

It's a genre of poetry, Pendragon.
Your mileage might vary.

  You couldn't possibly have expressed it in less erotic terms.
It comes across as vulgar, impersonal, to the extent of being almost
mechanical.  As erotic literature, it's on a par with saying "I walked
into the men's room and took a dump."

In your opinion, again.
Thanks for reading and commenting.

--

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Thanks again for reading and commenting, Pendragon.
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I don't have time right now but I'll return soon for a more in depth
response.

But now, a few hours later, I have the time:

Ah! This was formerly expressed as "I'll get back to you this after I've
made a pot of coffee."  Needless to say, the coffee never materialized.

Which I've done, after a good night's sleep as well.

lack adequate reading comprehension skills.

That's actually your problem, apparently, Pendragon, since you can't
seem to understand where my poem is coming from.
In other words, it went over your head.

Your writing shows that you lack adequate compositional skills.

Your opinion only
Again, my writing was in the style of the Beatnik poets and punk rockers
of the era.
It was intentionally crude, as many rock and roll style lyrics often
are.

Your content shows that you lack even the most basic social and cultural
skills (outside of a Neanderthal clan, that is).

The poem was written in 1982 in a countercultural society based on
anarchy, a population of free spirits.
I was heavily influenced by the Beat poets of the recent past and the
wild excesses of the then current punk and new wave scenes.

follow
my advice and enroll in a free online basic English course.

I've been a writer for over fifty years now, Pendragon, this isn't my
first rodeo.

As you have a single-digit intelligence quotient

As if you had the intelligence or expertise to judge such a matter,
Michael Pendragon.
HTH and HAND.