Re: What Did You Watch? 2024-03-09 (Saturday)

anim8rfsk wrote:

Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

I watched:
 
 
What did you watch?

 
Hey, thanks for asking!
 
TRACKER
 
No, not this silly uncredited remake that Adam is watching
starring Green Aquaman.
 
The one and only original series from 2001, starring the
Highlander versus the vampire from Forever Knight!
 
An incredibly goofy one season wonder from Canadia?s space
channel.
 
Adrian Paul is Daggon, a.k.a. Cole a prison guard from
Cirron who comes to earth chasing 218 prisoners that the
Evil Zin released and came exactly 100 light years
(sometimes it?s 100,000,000 light years) from their planet
SAR TOP in the Migar solar system. Some of the aliens are
Cirronians, some Desserians, some Enixians, some
Nodulians, some Orsusians, and some are, of course
Vardians, with the occasional prisoner, being of one
species and pertaining to be another so he didn?t get beat
up in the prison yard. Apparently, none of these beings
are corporeal.  So when they landed here, they all
inhabited nearby, living
beings usually but not always human.  Cole tracks them
down and puts their life force in a little version of the
containment vessel from Ghostbusters, murdering the host
in the process. Which is sort of amusing as he goes to
these missing peoples families, and promises to help them,
find them, not bothering to mention to the grieving
mothers, that he?s going to murder their missing sons.
 
All these characters have different inconsistent
abilities. When Cole tells us that Joanne Kelly from
Warehouse the 13th the series does not hesitate to use her
Desserian abilities against him, she demonstrates by
hitting him over the head with a 2 x 4.
 
They finally start explaining all this in the show opening
about halfway through the series.
 
For whatever reason Cole himself didn?t need to snatch a
body; he just built one from scratch based on the
billboard of an underwear model that?s out in the middle
of a field where no one could see it.
 
He is aided in his mission by a plucky bar owner, who is
the first person he runs into. She is aided in her mission
by an extremely ditzy barkeeper. The running gag is that
she inherited everything, including the bar and the
barkeep from her grandmother, and anytime they break
anything she says she inherited that from her grandmother.
Ha, ha.
 
Cole has a superpower that he uses surprisingly seldom,
which either allows him to go back slightly in time or to
stop time while he runs around. You?d think you could fix
anything this way. For instance, the bad guy throws a girl
out of a window. Cole stops time and runs downstairs and
catches her (like that would help.) but then looks
upstairs helplessly because obviously the bad guy would
have escaped by now. Why? Hasn?t zero time passed?
 
Towards the end, they start messing with the series
format. Cole figures out how to use his image projector to
look like anyone, so Adrian Paul can take the week off. In
a very special two part episode, the ditzy barkeep goes to
London to be chased by Jack the Ripper, and an incredibly
young Kathryn Winnick replaces her oh so briefly.
Everybody but the top two characters it disappears from
the opening credits. But the evil forever
night vampire Zin will soon be back.  We find out the girl
who owns the bar has been half alien all this time, and
can do some of Cole?s magic tricks. Apparently she
inherited this from her grandmother.
 
In the conclusion of the evil Zin storyline it turns out
there?s something buried 500 feet under Chicago that will
kill everybody everywhere. Cole stops him by locking him
in the vault with the device. Isn?t that the last place
you?d want him to be?
 
The senses shattering series finale is both a clip show
and a will they or
won?t they show.  Cole figures out that if he just turns
the knob on his Ghostbusters containment vessel to the
left, it will suck in every alien in the world all at
once. But then he only has an hour to get them all back to
prison because reasons so he catches everybody and says
goodbye to the girl and leaves forever.
 
And then a couple hours later, he?s back because he
decided he?d rather hang around earth and it doesn?t
bother the girl that he?s not even a physical being and
it?s just using an inducer as long as it makes him look
like an underwear model. Then unknown to them his secret
computer in the secret computer room Secretly puts up a
secret screen that secretly shows hundreds of secret alien
presences?
 
On Freevee and other services. Freevee seems to have the
running order right; Ian?s IMDb episode listing is
completely wrong, based on people leaving the series and
their storylines being wrapped up.
 
Fred-Bob sez ?check it out!?
 

The premise sounds like "Brimstone" only the good guy
doing the chasing of bad guys on "Brimstone" doesn't
have any superpowers. He's just a dead cop recruited
by the Devil to round up the excapees.

And the equivalent of the barkeeper lady is the clerk
at the two-bit dive the dead cop is sleeping in.

The question becomes: Which series was first and stole
the premise from the other?

Nyssa, who wishes that there were a DVD available (that
doesn't ship from Pakistan) of the 14 filmed (but
not all broadcast) of "Brimstone"