Re: What Did You Watch? 2024-06-28 (Friday)

On Sat, 29 Jun 2024 07:22:02 -0700, anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
wrote:

Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

I watched:
 
Nothing.
 
What did you watch?

>
Hey, thanks for asking!
>
I watched worse than nothing as I suffered Ian‘s revenge for the short form
movies.
>
AGE OF THE LIVING DEAD (2018) Prime and Plex.
>
A.k.a. Era of the Living Dead
>
It’s a six episode miniseries about which almost nothing is known and what
is known is wrong. For instance, IMDb says there are three seasons of six
or seven episodes each but it’s pretty clear they only made one six episode
season. There’s also a video game that nothing is known about.
>
This is an absolutely dreadful incompetently made series that’s pretty much
like “hey kids let’s remake the strain with the grade school video club“
>
You may recall that I can’t stand the strain.
>
I am pretty sure this suffers from Defiling Gravity syndrome, where the
first and last episodes are written by one person and the rest is just
fill-in. Credits say the same guy wrote them all, but the credits are
standardized and identical for every episode so I suspect they lie.
>
10 years ago vampires somehow took over New York City and now there are 250
million of them occupying the East Coast of the United States from the
Atlantic to about Chicago. The 150 million remaining American humans live
pretty much in California. In between is a no man’s land, that works pretty
much like Star Trek where nobody’s allowed to go in it at all.  The
vampires haven’t leached over the Canadian or Mexican borders at all and
the British seem to think they don’t exist anywhere else in the world even
though many of them talk like a bad satire of Bela Lugosi and have been
around for hundreds or thousands of years.

Wait.. If there's 250 million vampires on the East Coast what the hell
are they feeding on? You say the remaining humans in America are in
California. So the vamps are living on the East Coast but what has
traditionally been their food source is on the West Coast with a no
man's land between them. So what are they feeding on? Or are these
vamps like zombies and don't really need to ever feed themselves?

The entire rest of the world refuses to talk to America for reasons that
are unclear.

Well, I wouldn't want to talk to America either when I'm most likely
talking to a vampire.

Displaying an ignorance of American geography that surpasses even
Smallville or Jericho, you can walk from the Empire State building to New
Mexico in an afternoon.

They must have seven league boots.

Somehow, the vampires administer a treaty, where all the American humans
donate blood in exchange for not being overrun. I have no idea how the
system works.

What happens if someone refuses?

The American president works out of the daily planet/Dragnet building in
Los Angeles and Los Angeles pretty much looks like a shiny Los Angeles,
where everybody has new cars and gets them washed. And of course, she has
leukemia.

Let me guess. Becoming a vampire would cure her leukemia.

In New Mexico, there’s a military base that is secret. (although everybody
working in it donates blood) and brand new as a forward attack base even
though it’s been there since before the vampire uprising.  Into it walks
Nicola Posener, who is some kind of super vampire who can survive in
daylight, but doesn’t know it and doesn’t notice that she walked to New
Mexico in said daylight. She’s one of the few pure blood vampires and is
hundreds of years old, even though she was turned after the vampire
uprising less than 10 years ago.

Wait, she's hundreds of years old and a pure blood vampire but she
doesn't notice that she isn't like all the other vampires? How do they
explain that? If she was turned then how is she a pure blood? I would
guess a pure blood would be one of those born to a vampire like Blade.

She says several times an episode that
she’s never killed a human being although she doesn’t count sucking their
blood until they die and turn into a vampire themselves as killing and she
has no hesitation about killing vampires. 

Ah, she has her own version of reality where any death caused by her
does not count.

>
There’s another secret New Mexico base 10 miles away. That has a radio that
can reach London, but can’t reach Los Angeles, which is a six hour walk to
the west.
>
The vampires have developed blood helper, which they decide to live on
forever without any testing so they want to eradicate the American humans.
The American humans want to nuke Manhattan. The British want to stop the
American humans from nuking Manhattan because the wind will carry the
fallout over to Europe. They plan to stop the attack with an EMP satellite
that shoots a beam down and then (get this), nuke Manhattan themselves.
Because somehow that’s less problematic. Nobody is a reliable narrator,

Well, it doesn't count if the Brits do it.

which makes it all the more confusing.
The humans have also developed a vampire cure which is transmitted in the
exact opposite way than it should be.
>
At the secret New Mexico base which we don’t find out until the second to
last episode is called the Haven. The super vampire girl is found in the
desert by our hero, who turns out to be both her lover and brother,
although the second isn’t ever addressed.

He is her brover.

His father runs the base And his
mother was killed by vampires 10 years ago when he was about four years old
but now he’s an adult. Except his mother wasn’t killed. She’s one of the
vampire council all of whom are centuries old except she’s less than 10
years old.

I could sort of go along with him considering her dead when she became
a vampire. Though the time line makes no sense unless this show has
time travel involved.

As all these weird storylines collide, the show doesn’t end it just stops.
>
The best thing I can say for it is it has several attractive actresses.
>
All shot in horrible handheld, constant shaky cam.

Well I'm out. I did that once with the BLAIR WITCH PROJECT but never
again. I have tried to watch CRANK a few times but I just can not
stand that shaky cam.