Re: A Problem To Solve :-)

On 3/7/2024 5:29 PM, Physfitfreak wrote:

>
 Farley: "Ahh fuck!... Stop that shit. Just be non-abusing and respectful to me."
 hh:     "Ok Farley. I so love you though."
 Physfit clicked the Thunderbird closed.
        

He clicked it open again to see whether it'll take him into another layer of cyberspace. It didn't. Farley was still there arguing with hh to shut up.
Physfit:  "It's out of hh's control, Farley. He's being what he is now."
Farley:   "And he won't fucking be what he is now!"
Farley placed the gallon Carlo Rossi down and began striding toward hh.
hh:       "No!... Farley, no!...I lov...."
Farley took the second h in hh's name and turned it upside down, and this time around placed a dot between them too for good measure, then placed the whole thing between his second premolar teeth and squeezed on it.
Snap!... he took the 1 out and placed it on the table and walked back to his table.
Farley:   "Science and math are repeatable, you motherfuckers. We'll get a better hh out this time."
Physfit:  "My dick is not going to mess with that crap again."
Farley:   "No need for that. I'll do it myself."
He walked back somewhere and appeared with two h letters of a different font. Held them up and turn back and forth to show them to COLA, then placed them on the table away from where the proverbial 1 was.
COLA moved close to watch again, except RonB, who kept sitting there looking away from it all. Last, % appeared too, from somewhere, and got right behind Joel, trying to peep in.
Farley knew what to do. He placed the h's adjacent to each other, turned the second one upside down, then placed a bracket around them, lifted the expression and carefully put it just to the left of the 1, making sure it doesn't touch it. Then put an equal sign to the left of the whole thing. He then went back to his table, took the gallon Carlo Rossi up and downed 5 good-sized gulps from it, then put the bottle down and firmly walked back to hh's table.
Having no needle-nose pliers with him, and tired of always asking Physfit for everything, he lifted the bracket and began squeezing its height down with his first, second, and third molar teeth repeatedly and back and forth until it turned into a jagged thin line, pretty uneven, but thin enough to pass through the equal sign. Placed the "line" back where the bracket was.
He then took a deep breath and began carefully and slowly pass the line through the equal sign toward the other side of the equation. At some point, the line got stuck to the inner wall of the channel inside the equal sign. Farley grabbed the = with his left hand and carefully pulled back on the line with his other hand and detached it and pull it all out to the right side of the equation again, then grabbed both ends of it and pulled them apart to make it less jagged, then repeated the attempt to pass it through the = to the other side.
It worked better this time, and its left tip began sticking out from the left opening of the =. Grabbed that tip and began pulling until almost all of it was out on the left side yet making sure it was still attached to the equal sign. He now removed the 1 from the right side of the equation and put it at a safe distance away from the equation. Now he pulled the line left a bit more, letting it drop loose inside the left side.
It was time now! Farley made himself ready for action. He removed the 1 and slowly and carefully brought it close, and placed it on the right side of the equation.
POP!.. Farley immediately removed the 1 and the equal sign and squeezed them with his two fingers together and rolled them around until they were kind of combined into each other, making a dry booger like piece of object, then with a string action, threw the piece into the air in some direction. It hit Ahlstrom in the face and dropped, causing him not even the slightest move of the head and face muscles other than a rapid blink of the eye. He kept watching in awe exactly as before.
Farley then made himself comfortable again, reached forward and grabbed the second upside down h and turned it back to the downside down position, removed the dot, pressed the two h's closer to each other, and got ready for the next step.
COLA watching intently, all except RonB who was still sitting at his table looking away, murmuring to himself some parochial nonsense. Farley turned to him and said,
Farley:   "RonB!.. Quiet! This is important."
RonB continued but more quietly.
Farley then got his face close to the letters hh and said rather loudly,
Farley:   "FUCKING AUSCHWITZ!"
...
Everybody continued watching silently. Nothing happened!
Farley got a bit nervous and again said,
Farley:   "AUSCHWITZ!" ...
Nothing changed.
Farley:   "STALLMAN!"
.... Nothing happened... A commotion began in COLA and everyone at once started saying some nonsense as they're so quick to do.
Farley looked at Physfit. Physfit said,
Physfit:  "Don't look at me guy, I'm not the one who did that. Finish that yourself."
Farley began trying different stuff,
Farley:  "KHOMEINY!... YAHOO NETANYAHOO!... FUCKING BIDEN!... THAT FUCKING BLINKEN!... THAT DICKHEAD DUFUS!... THAT COCKSUCKER TRUMP!.. "
Joel:    "Stop that shit. It's obvious none will work."
Farley sat back and exhaled a hopeless breath. Then looked again at Physfit.
Physfit:  "No."
Farley began thinking. What had he done differently? What had he done wrong? Then he suddenly turned towards RonB and said,
Farley:   "Hey, there!.. What were you fucking murmuring while I was doing this shit??.."
Physfit:  "If that's what fucked it up then it must have something to do with Pope The Penis X."
Farley:   "Fucking yes!"
Farley stood up and strode towards RonB who was still sitting there looking away, murmuring parochial crap. Told him it must've been his fault that the procedure didn't work, so he must go fix this himself.
RonB didn't respond. Farley grabbed his parochial style collar-grab and lifted him up into a standing position and shouted,
Farley:   "GET FUCKING BUSY!... "
RonB reluctantly walked over to hh's table, pushed the chair aside to get his crotch as close as possible to the edge of the table. Then separated his legs a bit, placed the palm of his left hand on his crotch, then began making the sign of the cross on himself, ending with a very pronounced Michael Jacksonian yank of the pelvis forward.
BANG!... hh himself jumped out into COLA!...
RonB silently walked back to his table and sat there and looked away.
Physfit:  "I somehow knew it had to do with the concept of Pope, and the concept of Penis."
Farley: "I fucking knew it too! That guy doesn't fucking breathe without Pope The Penis Fucking X in mind. Even his physical proximity to science and math creates penis stuff."
But hey, hh was out of the algebra, but was he the exact same hh? This matter quickly came to COLA's attention collectively, and everybody now turned to hh and began observing him.
Farley:  "Are you ok?"
hh:      "Of course I'm."
A little commotion like a bit of relief was created among COLA.
Farley:  "Where did you last vacation?"
hh:      "Visited D Day, I told COLA this before."
Joel:    "He's back. It's him. Yawn.."
Farley:  "What is Farley good for?"
hh:      "Good for nothing."
Farley:  "The creep's fucking back."
Farley went back to his table, sat down and took in a deep breath of relief. This crap was at last over.
Physfit clicked the Thunderbird closed again.
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