Re: OT: Any comments on my sci-fi writing?...

On 8/16/2024 1:09 PM, Keith Thompson wrote:

BGB <cr88192@gmail.com> writes:
[...]

https://github.com/cr88192/bgbtech_html/blob/master/stories/2021-09-09_Skimmer1B.pdf

 That URL goes to an HTML page on GitHub.  If you open it in a browser,
you can read the PDF.  If you download it using wget or curl, you get a
bunch of HTML with a ".pdf" file extension.
 

This is seemingly "just how GitHub does it". In another response, I was able to figure out how to get a raw link...
BTW: I am now back from "copying an image from my old SSD to a new SSD"...
Took a fairly long time to image over ~ 1TB at ~ 30 MB/s.
Which while, granted, would be pretty OK for copying from an HDD, was kinda painfully slow for an SSD. Basically took pretty much all day.
Lots of bad sectors, and before this, the needing to get a Linux LiveCD image that "actually worked" on my PC (most of the versions I had, would either lock up early in boot or kernel-panic).
So, went and downloaded a new DVD image with "Ubuntu Server 24".
This did work OK.
So, seemingly, new versions of the Linux kernel are OK with my PC, but roughly 10-15 year old versions are like "Oh Crap" and dies... (including 32-bit x86 versions).
Wasn't asking for much, just a shell to run "dd" and similar...
But, like, it would mostly get to the point of getting "vmlinuz" loaded, some messages about "found initrd" and a few other things, and then either a hard freeze or kernel panic. These were mostly Fedora.
Several versions displayed the kernel memory map (others did not), freeze/crash was typically shortly after a message like "Configured High Precision Event Timer / HPET".
But, either way, still not very far (typically, the "loading vmlinuz" load with a bunch of periods, was still on screen).
Tried a 20 year old version of Suse (on an actual / traditional CD-ROM), which got a little further, but still died. Given all died in roughly similar ways and in roughly the same place, not likely due to bit-rot on CD-R's or DVD-R's.
Otherwise, I am now left trying to sort out a personal mystery:
   I am not normally all that emotional.
But, I have noted that seemingly a lot of the "Raggedy Ann" stuff (such as the 1918 and 1924 stories) manage to cause "the feels" much more strongly than is typical in my experience.
Like, superficially, the stories are simplistic and lighthearted, the 1918 stories mostly about the interaction between a girl and her sentient dolls (in the 1924 story, it more follows the dolls themselves, and the story, as read thus far, seems closely related to the 1977 movie). The dolls have various mini-adventures, etc.
But, like, there is also a strong sense of sadness and loss that I get from all this, but also a sense of caring, etc. Difficult to describe, and out of character to my usual range of emotional responses.
But, like, I don't know "how". It is a strange experience (there is nothing obvious in the events of the stories to convey these sorts of emotions, like it is somehow "hidden", or possibly like some sort of perceptual anomaly on my end).
I had ended up looking into the events surrounding the story, and it seems to match the context in which the stories were written; implying that these sort of emotions were "conveyed" somehow, but it is not in a way that I can easily identify.
However, nothing of these events is present in the stories themselves (they are all from the context of Marcella still being alive).
Whole thing is a very weird/surreal experience for me (like, what reason do I have so feel sad for someone who died a good part of a century before I existed?... what is going on here?...).
Similarly, it has different characteristics that my usual form of sadness, seemingly "sharper"; my more usual form being more dominated by "coldness" and "numbness" (and usually if something bad happens in my life, this sense of "cold numbness" just gets a bit stronger). It seems like there is some factor that distinguishes these emotions (such as the sense of caring or sentimentality).
Or, like, the sense of caring causes some of the "cold sadness" to turn into "sharp sadness", and I am much more adapted to experiencing the former than the latter?...
Like, in the "cold sadness" case, in a stronger case, one might just lay down as the world seems to fade away, like one could potentially just lay there and let themselves fall into non-existence. But, then one just needs to keep going, as nothing good comes from just laying around feeling sad about things. In this case, one may try to avoid letting oneself care too much about anything (say, because letting oneself care too much often just makes things feel worse).
Decided to leave it out, but have noted that this part of the emotional space also contains some paths to some "not good" places.
But, I guess, in these stories, the "caring" aspect was a pretty strong feature (possibly interacting in unexpected ways with my own internal state). Seemingly the stories are composed largely of emotions which fall outside of my usual range.
Like, in a way, it causes a certain amount of emotional pain, but maybe this isn't entirely a bad thing?...
Like, sometimes, maybe its better let oneself experience ones' own emotional pain rather than to just try to avoid it?... Like, letting oneself care even if they already know they will be burned by doing so?...
I guess, I can note that my parents are familiar with these stories (the stories were apparently much more popular when they were young). But, I guess my dad field neutral about them. My mom dislikes them, apparently finding them to be obnoxiously sappy and lame.
Does seem to imply though, that my difficulties with experiencing emotions may have more to do with connecting events with the associated emotions, rather than ability to experience the emotions themselves (if a sufficient stimulus exists).
Also seems to imply that the odd experience of "sensing" emotions from others, is conveyed by something other than physical proximity. I had noticed a "similar" effect to this, typically IRL, but seemed like it depend more on physical proximity and line of sight (neither of which would be true when reading old stories off the internet).
Or, say, when a cat is sitting on ones' chest and grooming themselves, and one can feel a sense of happiness from the cat (even if potentially being anchored down is inconvenient at times).
...