It's quiet... and I know why

Everybody here is out watching "The Minecraft Movie"

Honestly, I thought this movie had already been released last year.
I'd have put money down on that belief, had I been in a gambling mood.
So learning that it was only released this weekend sort of blew my
mind.

Not as much as it becoming a block-buster hit though.

Although, I sort of get it. The movie is based on a popular
video-game. It's kid-friendly. It's got Jack Black in it. It's at
least worth a look, right? How bad can it be?

Pretty bad, as it turns out. Comparisons to the original 1993 "Super
Mario Bros." movie are apt.

It's a completely awful piece. None of the characters are likable.
Jack Black is.... well, he's Jack Blacking constantly. The idea that
his humor works in short bursts seems to have escaped him. I actually
like him in a lot of films, but he's irksome and exhausting in this
one.

And the sad part is, he's the BEST bit of the movie. The rest of the
movie is either forgettable or stupid. Maybe pre-teens will get
something out of it, but if you've a fully-developed brain then it's
going to hurt to watch this.

I enjoyed "Borderlands" more than this claptrap. And "Borderlands" was
utter, utter shit.

"Minecraft" isn't a 'turn-your-brain-off-and-enjoy' movie. It's a 'jam
electrodes into your ears until your cerebral matter is ashed and then
maybe you won't hate life so much watching it' movie. It's awful.

It does seem popular in America, though. I wonder why that is.
(looks at electorate)
Oh, that explains a lot.