Re: Wind/Song / A Poem by AlepH / cheesetray productions

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Well done,AlepH.
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The poem evokes images of the Creation myth from Bereshit, w/o directly
referencing it -- choosing, instead, to function on a wholly symbolic
level.  In doing so, the Light takes on various levels of possible
meaning
apart from a euphemism for Ha-Shem; the most apparent of which would be
the dawn of human consciousness and/or the awakening of the individual
consciousness to spiritual/intellectual truth.
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I suggest placing "Blacker" and "Light" in lower case.  "Light" would
only be capitalized if you were personifying it (which, to some extent,
you are), but is both unnecessary and frowned upon by the modern
arbiters of poetic style.  However, if you wish to thumb your nose at
TPTB, more power to you.  The capitalization of "Blacker," otoh, can not
be justified.
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I'm also wondering as to the purpose of the slash in the title.  Were
you unable to decide between the two listed options?  Personally, I
prefer "Wind Song."
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HINT: You might also consider dropping the "Cheesetray" persona (at
least when posting serious poems), as it can trick reading into
mistaking a serious poem for a joke.
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Since the AAPC regulars relocated to Facebook at the beginning of the
year, you've been the only poet here who posts anything of value.  Keep
up the good work.
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