Meth is a Helluva Drug, Ain't it?

Behold Tito and Amanda Watts:

https://ibb.co/HLf6fhsn

This lovely couple was arrested for selling "golden tickets to heaven" to
hundreds of people.

They sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the
tickets were made from solid gold, and that each ticket reserved the buyer a
spot in heaven-- simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in.
 
Tito Watts said in his police statement: "I don’t care what the police say.
The tickets are solid gold... And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the
KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I
met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he'd take me and
my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that's made entirely of drugs. You
should arrest Jesus because he's the one that gave me the golden tickets and
said to sell them. I'm willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up."
 
Amanda Watts said in her police statement: "We just wanted to leave earth and
go to space and do drugs. I didn't do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to
heaven. I just watched."
 
Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, drug paraphernalia, and a
baby alligator.