Re: Monday Night Dinner? 6/02/2025

On 6/6/2025 8:54 AM, flood of sins wrote:

On 2025-06-04, Ed P <esp@snet.n> wrote:
 

Everyone is different but life has to go on.  What would the deceased
person want you to do?  Probably to be happy, not be gloomy all the
time.  Miss them?  Sure, always will.

 

If it is your spouse, perhaps you even discussed it.  There should be at
least some basic ideas of what they want and expect.

 I asked my mom that, what would dad want. She said they never
talked about life after one is deceased. Which sounded odd
because my father and I had some quite frank discussions about
some things he wanted, he knew he was going first. Was news to my
mom. As far back as I can remember my mom avoided uncomfortable
discussions or ones that require critical thinking and always
said she'd pray about it and god's will will work its wonders
and take care of things.
 She's discovering only now at her late stage of life that's not
how any of that works. :/
 

Situations differ and not everyone is comfortable with a serious sit down to discuss such thing.  Even casual conversation can give some hints.
If one person has serious health issues, good to know what they expect and want to happen.  Odds are they go first.  In my case, my son is a medical professional and we've had some discussion.  He has often had to pull the plug on patients, I trust him to know for me.
Do I miss my wife? Sure, every day.  I also know she does not want me to sit and cry every day.  She wants me to continue to enjoy life and other people.  We have discussed it.  No secrets.
My friend lost her adult son a couple of years ago.  Since she is far away, I asked about the funeral.  She told me not to come, but she would appreciate me a couple of weeks later when things settle down.  I sent her a text one day and she said it was appreciated.  Every day, she gets a text at 6:30 PM for 2 1/2 years now, no reply needed.  Still appreciated