"I'd Like a Change of Species, Please"

(The older I get and the longer I have to pay attention to current
events, the more I think I'd rather just be done with the human race
entirely - and this is a song about that. Still working on the music,
but if you start from "What Goes On" by the Beatles, the melody pretty
much suggests itself...)

You sidle up beside me and you say, look over there,
(At) those Other Creatures quietly tending to their own affairs
Don't they all seem so suspicious?
And their flesh looks so delicious;
Is it so wrong for us to claim what they believe is theirs?
(And isn't their fault for being Different in your space!?
How dare they shove their Other-Creature values in your face!)

You think we've got a bond over the pattern of our hide,
But you don't know a thing about the animal inside
Our Heritage, you claim, is great,
And look at Their benighted state -
But where'd you get the notion that I line up on your side!?
(My clever camouflage: by chance, I look a bit like you
Should I point out to those about that you're a mongrel, too?)

(Chorus:)

I'd like a change of species, please; I'll soar the sky or swim the seas
Or browse contentedly upon the grasses of the plain!
Just take me from this Godforsaken human civ'lization,
And render me an animal that listens to its brain!

You talk like we're the predators, and other folks the prey,
And then you act all wounded when they start to edge away
You howl that you're a wolf and proud,
So why are all the sheep allowed
To persecute your kind for their opinions this way?
(And all the real Wolves look on, and circle up the pack,
For they know that you're the type who's like to stab them in the back!)

(chorus)

You tell me we're the heirs-elect to rule all the land,
But all you claim you've built is on a foundation of sand!
You cache your finds in crumbling banks,
And holler when the value tanks,
And all you've proved is that the dumbest animal is Man!
(And though you hope to crown yourself the King of Carrion,
You'll find that Vulture Capital's already been and gone...)

(chorus)

Oh, Nature is a savage one - she's red in tooth and claw,
(But) she's not the type to claim that all her prejudice is Law
When the fox leaps for the rabbit,
If he fails at last to grab it
She won't pat him on the back and stuff the bunny in his maw!
(And when the mountain lion sinks his teeth into the deer,
He has no plans to ask if it will vote for him next year!)

(chorus)

I'd like a change of species, please! I didn't ask for jerks like these
To be my nearest neighbors in God's taxonomic plan!
You self-destructive monkey-men, just let me put my notice in,
And drop the curtain on this fest'ring empire of Man!

(And when the dust has settled and Man's works have passed away,
Will any other creature be as foolish in its day...?)