Putin Has Released His Conditions For A Peace Deal. Here Are His 8 Demands …

Putin Has Released His Conditions For A Peace Deal. Here Are His 8 Demands

https://babylonbee.com/news/putin-has-released-his-conditions-for-a-peace-deal-here-are-his-8-demands

With tense negotiations between Russia and Ukraine still ongoing, many
experts have wondered what the sticking points could be that are standing
in the way of lasting peace.

Through the use of highly placed international connections, The Babylon
Bee has obtained the following sneak peek at Vladimir Putin's list of
demands to agree to a ceasefire:

o    A mint-condition holographic Charizard: Anything less would be an
insult to the people of Russia.

o    All Russian mail-order brides must be sent back: They are to become
Russian wives, effective immediately.

o    Rocky IV must be edited so that Ivan Drago wins: When Drago told
Rocky, "You will lose," he was telling the truth.

o    Trump must give Putin a cool new nickname: He must now be referred
to as "The Strong, Virile One."

o    Ukraine must now be part of Russia on all Risk game boards: The
price of peace is not a small one.

o    Zelenskyy must be forced to become the new mascot for Keebler
cookies: He will be required to wear an elf hat and live in an elf tree
for the rest of his life.

o    Ukraine must officially adopt the rainbow Pride Flag as its national
flag: Because they're gay.

o    Donald Trump must relinquish the presidency back to Biden's autopen:
Russia's preferred American leader.

He drives a hard bargain, that Vladimir Putin. This doesn't even count
his request for royalties for every Moscow Mule served in the U.S. What
else should Putin demand? Post them in the comments below.

Макар, че на украинците не им е до смях.

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«地 球 誕 生 在 牛 市 的 小 時 — Earth is born in the Bull's hour»