When gooks get together

www.latimes.com
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only
trying to retrieve the gerbil," Andrew B Chung told bemused doctors
in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Chung, and
his homosexual partner Michael "Gook" Ejercito, had been admitted for
emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our
gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Michael shouted out "Armageddon",
my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he
wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match,
thinking the light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what
happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal
gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr Ejercito's hair and
severely burning his anus. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and
whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the
intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Chung suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact