Sujet : Re: The Suspicious Journals of Ross A. Kosmanson :-)
De : physfitfreak (at) *nospam* gmail.com (Physfitfreak)
Groupes : sci.physics sci.physics.relativity sci.mathDate : 02. May 2025, 04:32:32
Autres entêtes
Organisation : Modern Human
Message-ID : <vv1ecg$4gek$1@solani.org>
References : 1
User-Agent : Mozilla Thunderbird
An Ethnographic Study of Inebriated Gastrointestinal Distress and Geopolitical Delirium in a Luxury Tel Aviv Lavatory
There I languish, in a state of utter dissolution, collapsed upon the porcelain throne of a luxury hotel suite, thoroughly annihilated by spirits of dubious origin, as I drain the final, searing remnants from a bottle of indeterminate hellfire.
My viscera convulse with the force of a Houthi ballistic incident — splash, plop, poop — while I, a modern-day oracle of success, slur incoherently into my cellphone: "Dear compatriot, the Houthi insurgents... they’ve infiltrated the municipal sewage... Netanyahu is but a digital phantasm... Trump, I assure you, is a triumvirate of orange colored raccoons concealed within a bespoke suit..." At which precise moment, the apparatus escapes my grasp, descending into the abyss to float — tragically, absurdly — upon the fetid morass of my own cataclysmic excrement, a miniature Titanic upon a fecal sea.
Operational objectives: achieved.
Ross A. Kosmanson
May 1, 2025
Blitzed on a toilet in The Jaffa, Tel Aviv, Israel